The Jan Phillips Story

On Aug 24, 2002, Jan, an avid photographer and author, survived a near fatal car accident in the most miraculous way. She recounts her ordeal with utmost clarity, strength and confidence. As I read her story, I became captivated by her ability to convey that moment when she stopped to look fear in the face and say YES to LIFE! and NO to DEATH! With her permission I share the details and the inner strength she demonstrated at that courageous moment. 

"She was standing in front of her car, which was off road, so she could videotape a flock of stunning birds. Another driver hit the back of Jan's car at 70 mph. Jan's car hit her, catapulting her into the air. She landed in a ravine next to the road, the depression of land saving her life. Her car landed over her, muffler and exhaust system burning her right back, right hip and right elbow very severely." 

She has third degree burns in those areas and had surgery September 3, to repair the areas with skin grafts. As incredible as this sounds, Jan's spirits are high and focused on her healing and sharing her story. 


Update from Jan on 9/13/02---

Dear hearts, first off I want to thank you for your prayers, your candles and cards and messages of comfort and joy. I absolutely believe that it is your love and energy that enables me to sit here in this chair and be with you for these few minutes, sending back to you my own fire and prayers of gratitude.

The doctors say the skin graft is doing well. Physically, I am healing well, though it feels sometimes like glass is growing in my back instead of new cells. I'm struggling with panic/anxiety/post traumatic images, etc. so am asking that you still keep me in your prayers and keep the candles burning. I appreciate all your reiki, all the waving of your magic wands, all the ringing of the bells, all the sounds of my name on your lips as it makes its way to the Most High and Deep.

As you might have suspected, I have been mining this for meaning, all the while knowing it is moot, that the meaning is to accept the reality of each moment as another facet of God. Just that and no more. But still I search and scour my memories, knowing there must be a jewel in there somewhere---like a child in search of that colored egg in the bush, that gold coin in the velvet pouch. And I have found something---not the meaning, not the "why" behind this mystery, not the POINT, but a clue---I have found a clue, and here it is:

When I was under the car, trapped and being burned by the muffler and exhaust system, I was aware that I was facing the moment of my death. I was fully conscious and chose to go calmly, like the Eskimo who lies in the snowdrift and falls asleep when it is time. I felt that I had done a good job with my life. I prayed for everyone I was leaving behind. I thanked God for the richness of my experience, then I closed my eyes and waited for the passage to begin.

Only moments after, I heard the sound of men's voices. "Is anyone there? Is someone alive?" "Yes, I'm here, under the car."

"Oh my God! Someone's alive under there! Holy shit! What do we do now?"
I saw their feet moving in one direction, then another. They had no idea what to do.

"Hold on!," one said. "Stay there. We'll go get help."

"No," I said quietly. "YOU ARE the help. Don't go anywhere. Just lift up the car."

And in one miraculous moment, they became the Gods we are capable of being. They put their hands under the fender, and on the count of three, lifted the car as if it were an eagle's feather. I crawled out from under, and have been on the healing path ever since.

The clue is that we ARE the healers, we ARE the help---only we have been taught the opposite for so long, that we need to be constantly reminding each other that this is the case. Divinity is coursing through us every moment---it is the sacrament of our lives. Whatever is needed love, strength, compassion, wisdom we have these things within us. We are deep wells of light when we are true and open to our own sacredness. Those men knew it the moment I reminded them. They knew it in their cells and they saved my life by believing in their power and light.

And each of you, as you pray for me and all those you are praying for, or sending energy to, or loving from afar---each of you are doing the healing work healing wounds of the body and soul, wounds of the heart and mind---and your day will come when we, the recipients, turn our light on you in your hour of darkness and you'll feel it, you'll know the feeling of faith, the touch of Light.

So thank you, my kinfolk, my sisters and brothers in spirit---thank you for getting me this far, and thank you for helping me through the next few months. I need you and I feel you there in so many ways. This is the greatest grace of my life. This communion. This community. These bridges of light from one of us to the other. Blessed be.

All my love, Jan


-- Jan Phillips author, Marry Your Muse, God Is at Eye Level, A Waist is a Terrible Thing to Mind, Making Peace